Chores can be a daily battle with an autistic child — but a simple system built on choice and control, the Dot Method, can turn the fight into something your child actually opts into.
It is often tough for Autistic children and children with Asperger’s to do chores. Often, it is a battle that leaves both child and parent drained. Parents often try to reason with the child, which goes nowhere, or try to bribe them, which often fails. Autistic children, like most children, do not want to do chores but instead want to do their own things. However, children have to learn to do chores so that one day, when they are on their own, they will know how to take care of themselves. The question is, how can an autistic child learn to do chores without a huge fight? I have found a method that will help, called The Dot Method.
What is the Dot Method?
The Dot method is very simple and easy to implement. All you need is a clipboard, a marker, and dot stickers. First, create a list of 10 chores you want the child to complete. These can be the chores you have previously assigned but were rejected. Make sure the list is varied, with many different types of chores. Now, go to your child, show them the list, and ask them to choose one chore they wish to do. Now, tell them once they complete the chore, they get to take a dot and put it next to a chore they do NOT want to do. This gives the child a choice of chores to pick from, replacing chores they do not want to do. Have them complete the chore, then return to the list. The child then places the dot next to the chore they do not want to do. The child does this part so they feel empowered. Have them repeat this until five chores are done and 5 have dots on them. Initially, it is better to get them to do half the work than none at all.
Do this for 1-2 weeks, then get the chore list out again, and this time, when they complete a chore, they get to put a half-sticker next to a chore they do not want. There may be some resistance here, but again, they can choose chores they do not want to do. Repeat this every few weeks until they are doing most of the chores. You may need to revisit the chore chart and do this again, but in the end, they will be doing more chores than not.
Why does this work?
For someone with Autism and Asperger’s, it is all about control. They want to control themselves and their lives, but the world severely limits them. They will be more inclined to complete it if they feel they have some control and choice. This should work with non-Autistic children as well. If a child feels they have no control, they will have no reason to complete it. This may not work the first time or for all children, but it is a good, easy-to-try method.
To view a video explaining this technique, look below:
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[…] Have a child who wants more control or needs the power of choice? Check out the DOT Method. […]