“Accepting bad things that happened to you is not approving of them. Deal with the emotions and move on.”
I would consider Acceptance an advanced level therapeutic concept. It is an extremely difficult concept to understand and employ. On the surface, most people say they have accepted the bad things that have happened to them in their lives. Many, however, continue to repeat mistakes and continue to blame the past. In this case, acceptance has not been obtained.
People often give excuses as to why they will not accept the past. Most see the word “accept” as approving of what has happened, meaning it was ok for the event to occur. Acceptance has nothing to do with approving of an action. Acceptance is admitting and working to deal with the feelings of the event, not to hide or bury it. I have had many clients tell me they will refuse to accept or forgive those who have hurt them, as to them, if they accept them, they are saying it was ok for them to do what they did. This is a belief that is difficult to change. Acceptance takes work and time and is not something that will happen overnight. Acceptance is painful and difficult, and is one of the reasons therapists exist, to help others in the process.
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